Our Real Issues Real Answers Event was last Saturday. Every single response card came back positive. Yet, despite all the advertising, the event caught people off guard. Common words on the response cards were “thank you for being so honest” and “I appreciated hearing from women dealing with real life.” Our objective was definitely accomplished.
The topic that brought the most conversation and awakening was “divorce.” We did not talk about marriage. We spoke on divorce. Many times in a Christian event, the emphasis is on marriage. Not this time. There are too many of us who are divorced, were divorced or contemplating a divorce. We can hear sermons all day long on why to stay in a marriage so we addressed divorce.
I heard a common statement after the divorce talk as women said, “I am standing for my marriage.” In other words, regardless of how the relationship is or the choices of their husbands, these women took a stand to remain committed to their marriage. Well, that is great when two people decide to make a commitment to do that. But I couldn’t believe the stories that I heard about women standing for their marriage when their husbands have left them years ago. One woman told me with tears in her eyes that she was “standing for her marriage” to a man who left her years ago and he has remarried and now has other children. I looked at her and said, “That’s delusional. That is total bondage.” When is enough…enough. At what point do we get a clue and move on in our lives. Aren’t there other things to pray about and cry over that God will bless than the things that God is not blessing?
In 1 Corinthians 7:15-16, Paul tells us that if the unbeliever leaves you, let him go. Why? Because Paul continues to say that God has called us to peace. If someone leaves you, he suddenly does not believe in you or your marital commitment you both made before man, the State and God. Move on, especially if he is remarried. Be set free. There is liberty with the Lord.
If marriage was that spiritual in nature, why would the Lord tell us that we are freed to marry someone else if our present spouse dies? (Romans 7:3) Marriage is bound on earth. There is no eternal ramification associated with marriage. Jesus told us that we will be like the angels in heaven. (Matthew 22:30)
I don’t understand why we won’t allow the dead to bury the dead. We are carrying around dead relationships and expecting God to resurrect them. He did not promise to resurrect circumstances, titles, marital status or relationships; He promised to be faithful to You as a person for eternity. God is not going to ask you, “What have you done with your marriage?” You stand before God some day alone.
In marriage, there are two wills. God does not hold you responsible for your husband’s will or ways. Our prayers cannot control any other person and our scripture verses cannot control God. How are you living for Him personally and individually? We are wasting precious time by having an earthly perspective and not an eternal Kingdom perspective. It is time to be forgiven, set free and time to walk in the liberty that the Lord has promised you…on earth as it is in heaven.
Let me tell you… God never answered one of my prayers for my marriage but He answered multiple other prayers that I was praying at the same time. No one was more submissive, prayerful, honoring, respectful and willing to be obedient to the Lord and to my husband than me in that marriage. I was convinced that a miracle would happen because I prayed the right prayers and quoted the right verses. I was convinced that a miracle would happen because God answered all of my other prayers. I prayed for people to get saved, they got saved. I prayed for promotions I did not deserve, I got the promotions. I prayed for resolution in conflicts. Guess what? Resolved the next day. I prayed for my husband to want to eat dinner with me…. Nope! Nada, Zilch. When my husband left me, God was not surprised which is why I believe He never gave me one promise or answered one prayer.
God loves You. He hates divorce because of what it does to the people involved and knows all about it because He got a divorce (Jeremiah 3:8). Did you know that God wrote His people a certificate of divorce when they turned their backs on Him? If God did not change the heart of His beloved (the nation, Israel), why do we think that God will heal all our marriages? He understands your hurt and He knows your pain. God knows you by name and He wants to be your first love and the lover of your soul. Are you willing to lay down your desires and be about God’s desire? He came to set the captives free. You are no longer in bondage. Get out, lift your eyes up and see your God reaching out to you. He is willing to help you get through this. Are you willing to let it go?
Please…if you are reading this blog and know of someone making these kinds of choices, please support them. They are going through a lot and need your encouragement and your kindness to get them through. God has blessed us all! Let’s start living like we believe it.