The Difference between Men & Women in Broken Relationships

Bobbye and I asked a friend of ours to be interviewed on our daily radio show. Her name is Donna Scott and she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Today she came to our office for the recordings. Even though we know Donna, her kindness and sensitivity to share in her clients’ pain and then to wisely and calmly provide counsel to those in broken relationships amaze us. God is using her and mightily moving through her to repair broken hearts and mend broken relationships.

On a side bar conversation, I asked her what the biggest difference is between men and women when struggling in their relationship? Her answer may surprise you…

“When people come in to get healing help for relationship wounds, I notice a difference between the types of injuries found in men versus women in their moments of brokenness. As I counsel men, they generally tend to intellectualize their pain through interpreting life events. They typically sense that no matter what they do, it is not ‘good enough.‘ These feelings frequently create a sense of helplessness and futility. Unfortunately, it is usually manifested as anger or indifference to their partner. Women, on the other hand, are likely to experience their emotional hurt as ‘I’m not worth fighting for.’ This hurt results in lowering her sense of worth and security in the relationship. Her pain is sometimes displayed as anger or nagging. Neither understand that they actually have the same need in common; It is the longing to love and be loved by the one who matters most.”

We all want to be loved. We may not be very good at communicating how we want to be loved and we might not be very good at explaining why we are acting out or withdrawing but the bottom answer is the same.. to be loved. “For God so loved…” and because “God first loved us” we can love. I am certainly thankful our relationship with God is based on His love.

Donna Scott’s contact information is http://www.DonnaScottTherapist.com or (619) 500-4653. Calling her may be your first step in learning how to express love and how to receive love from God, others and yourself.

Thank you Donna for sharing your heart with us today and loving others through God’s gift of counseling.

The National Network of Youth Ministries

Tonilee and I have had the privilege over the past several years to work with and assist numerous organizations in the areas of marketing, business development, social media and branding. Non Profits, especially ministries, have one major common cause…serving the Lord through serving others. After spending some quality time with the executive leadership team at the National Network of Youth Ministries, their levels and networks of service are nothing short of phenomenal. But, you or the average person may not be aware of just how much they have done over the years and how many youth ministries they have either influenced or helped start. You may not even know who they are. It’s time.

Here is a snippet of what I discovered about the National Network of Youth Ministries

  • Is the longest running youth ministry network in the country, founded in 1981
  • Created the platform, modeled internationally by youth networks existing today
  • Works with and serves over 750 Youth Leader Networks throughout the United States
  • Has cultivated National and Regional Partnerships with hundreds of denominations and ministry organizations
  • Was Instrumental in launching “See You at the Pole” on a National and Global Level with over 1 Million youth participating
  • Is an ongoing Catalysts/Sponsors for National Conferences representing numerous youth initiatives
  • Convened the original meeting for the Youth Missions Network
  • Created http://www.MentorYouth.com, recruiting mentors for America’s youth, in collaboration with the US Department of Justice
  • Founded “Campus Alliance” –Every Student Every School
  • Host Annual Meeting for Youth Ministry Executive Council (YMAC)
  • Are Active Partners with the Youth Commission of the World Evangelical Alliance
  • Are Youth Ministry Representatives for the National Association of Evangelicals and the Mission America Coalition

Our youth workers, leaders, students, parents, and communities across the United States need to know about the National Network of Youth Ministries and how to support them. Personally, I’ve never met such humble, giving men and women who would rather remain in the background, behind the scenes than boasts about their accomplishments. So, I am going to boast on their behalf and encourage you to check them out. They need our support and prayers to keep up their global mission of connecting youth leaders through the most integrated and interactive networking platform that exist today in youth ministry. That’s NNYM…learn more about them, get involved and reach out in support. Visit www.YouthWorkers.net for more information.

Authored by Bobbye Brooks

FREE Online Webcast

We are hosting a free online webcast every Tuesday at 2pm pst.

Yes, that’s right. It is starting in 10 minutes. Please email us at info@dailydisciples.org if you would like the link. The topic is “The 7 Deadly Sins” and week 1 today is The Proud Look.

If you miss today, we will have a free link for you to watch at a later time according to your convenience. Just sign up through an email at info@daildisciples.org or call Terri at 800-992-0369. Thanks and hope to see your name online!

Life After Death

My friend’s husband passed away a few months ago. My friend has now found herself with a new identity of becoming a widow. The Lord asks us to take care of widows and orphans frequently in the Bible so I do feel an added obligation to listen intently and meet their needs.

My friend was talking out loud. There were times of definite grief in her words and then she would try to gain some strength to make plans. I was driving so it was easy to remain quiet as she cycled through these out loud thoughts until she said something that immediately broke my silence.

Her words, “Well, I am 53 and getting older. It’s ok to be a widow. I do not have much longer to live either. I will just be around for my kids until it’s my time to join him.”

I turned my head towards her and said, “You could have another 35 strong years! Age is not a factor in treating cancer or having heart surgery.  My husband did heart surgery on a patient who was 98 years old and the patient did fine. Age is not a factor in determining what you can and cannot do!”

God called Moses into full-time, hard-core ministry at 80 and then He called Joshua at the same age. Who are we to say that we have reached an age to maintain status quo?  Until the Lord returns or we literally go to Him, there is work on this earth to do, discover and explore.

I told my friend, “You need to get into an exercise class, take up a hobby, volunteer at something that fills your heart, become involved with a mission that focuses your prayers. Move, shift gears, be willing to change.”

If we want to admit it or not, there are certain circumstances in life that causes change. We need to embrace the change in honor of the Lord. Keep the faith and push forward.

I think that is why Jesus told us that the death of a spouse frees the remaining spouse. It is much easier to take on the loved-one’s death than to live without the loved-one.

As a former ICU nurse, I have had to deal with life and death issues a lot. Despite our belief system, all of us struggle with sickness, disease, stress disorders, aging bodies and eventually death.  We pray for healing to the day we die because it brings rays of hope. Let’s make every day count instead of counting down every day. Let’s live our lives to the fullest, giving God the glory for the fullest of His faithfulness in giving us one more day. The term “life after death” is true in many aspects.

How often do you read the Bible?

Last week, I picked up the USA Today newspaper. On the bottom corner, there was a USA Today Snapshot that was entitled: How often we read the Bible? I was surprised by the results:

  • At least once a month         53%
  • Rarely                                      22%
  • Never                                        24%
  • Don’t know                              1%

These percentages imply that the majority of the people in the USA are looking for God through the Bible in some way.  Many of us claim that we had a God-moment or a God-inspired thought. God’s spoken word can even be misinterpreted by our own spin or by the spin of another’s interpretation. But when life circumstances challenge those moments, thoughts or other’s comments, we need something more solid. We need something that speaks right to our heart directly. God’s written word is where 53% of us go to seek encouragement, answers and Truth. It is amazing to me that God’s living Word, Jesus, quoted God’s written Word. If Jesus quoted the Bible, how much more do we need to get familiar with the Bible today?

Bobbye and I wrote a book called “Building Divine Intimacy.” The primary objective was to teach other’s how to have a real relationship with the Lord. Some of the chapters deal with prayer, worship, how to apply the Bible to your daily life and learning to discern God’s voice over all the other voices and noises. We have had amazing testimonies like from Karen, “Thank you so much for writing this book. You finally put in words what my heart was seeking to know.”

If you are interested, please click here. We can send it to you in an e-book (or a pdf) for $5.00.

And if you need help, know that you can send in your prayer requests online through www.dailydisciples.org contact page.

Thank you and God bless you!

How to Share the Gospel

I was driving my son back to college and he asked me how do you share the Gospel with someone? It seems like such a difficult thing to bridge the gap in any relationship to share Christ. But the truth is that if you know the Lord personally, then you are just introducing one friend to another.
I told my son that no one can challenge your personal story of who God is to you and what He has done for you. Whenever you share your experience at a heart level, the listener will listen. If you make it more factual, you have opened the conversation to hear the other person’s facts too. When I was new at this and very young (age 14), I did not know what to say but I did know that I had to say something. I really believe that my evangelistic efforts were so successful because my excitement, passion and conviction was rooted and grounded in love but definitely not expressed well in words. I knew I had a valuable gift that others would want if they just heard about it.
Today, ask the Lord to put someone on your mind. Then ask the Lord to open up a conversation for you to share Him. Wait on Him to do it. Then, speak from your heart. Who can discredit your personal experience? Who will reject you for speaking the truth in love? Even if the fruit is not evident today, you have just given the Spirit a place to start in their heart.