The Difference between Men & Women in Broken Relationships

Bobbye and I asked a friend of ours to be interviewed on our daily radio show. Her name is Donna Scott and she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Today she came to our office for the recordings. Even though we know Donna, her kindness and sensitivity to share in her clients’ pain and then to wisely and calmly provide counsel to those in broken relationships amaze us. God is using her and mightily moving through her to repair broken hearts and mend broken relationships.

On a side bar conversation, I asked her what the biggest difference is between men and women when struggling in their relationship? Her answer may surprise you…

“When people come in to get healing help for relationship wounds, I notice a difference between the types of injuries found in men versus women in their moments of brokenness. As I counsel men, they generally tend to intellectualize their pain through interpreting life events. They typically sense that no matter what they do, it is not ‘good enough.‘ These feelings frequently create a sense of helplessness and futility. Unfortunately, it is usually manifested as anger or indifference to their partner. Women, on the other hand, are likely to experience their emotional hurt as ‘I’m not worth fighting for.’ This hurt results in lowering her sense of worth and security in the relationship. Her pain is sometimes displayed as anger or nagging. Neither understand that they actually have the same need in common; It is the longing to love and be loved by the one who matters most.”

We all want to be loved. We may not be very good at communicating how we want to be loved and we might not be very good at explaining why we are acting out or withdrawing but the bottom answer is the same.. to be loved. “For God so loved…” and because “God first loved us” we can love. I am certainly thankful our relationship with God is based on His love.

Donna Scott’s contact information is or (619) 500-4653. Calling her may be your first step in learning how to express love and how to receive love from God, others and yourself.

Thank you Donna for sharing your heart with us today and loving others through God’s gift of counseling.

Jesus and His Mother Mary

Yesterday, I spent the morning with the women of Spring Valley at Trinity Presbyterian Church. We focused on Jesus and His first sign in John 2 as He turned the water into wine.

Isn’t it amazing that no matter how many times we read the same stories in the Bible, they speak differently each time we seek God through them? Yesterday, the message was about Jesus being:

  • invited to the wedding,
  • included in the immediate problem at the wedding and Jesus
  • intervened in a specific, tradition-breaking miracle.

His mother Mary was also highlighted:

  • She was with Jesus when she carried Him in her stomach for 9 months.
  • She was with Jesus when she carried Him in her arms and loved Him as He grew.
  • She was with Jesus at this first public sign in turning the water into wine when He said to her, “My hour has not come.”
  • She was with Jesus at the foot of the cross when He told His disciples, “My hour has now come.”

Then at Resurrection Sunday, she was with the other women at the empty tomb and  she was with the disciples when He appeared in the upper room. At Pentecost, she received the anointing as the Gospel message would start right there and then continue to the ends of the earth.

And today,

  •  Jesus is God with us as He has given all believers access to the Father
  •  Jesus is God with Us, Emmanuel
  • Jesus is God with us as He will never leave us nor forsake us.
  • Jesus is God with us as His answers are a prayer away.
  • Jesus is God with us as His Words abide in our hearts and
  • Jesus is God with us as His power has anointed us to share salvation and to serve others.
  • Jesus is God with us as He resides in our hearts.

I am so thankful that Mary was willing to be such a servant, to be used so greatly by God.

Let’s pray that this year we may trust the Lord more than we did last year.

Let’s pray that this year becomes a time of not looking for the dates or hours of when our needs will be met or our prayers will be answered but that we continually seek the face of the Lord.

Let’s pray that we might be found faithful in the small things of life so that we may be granted to do big things for God.

If you would like to join us in Spring Valley, we will be starting Practicing the Presence of God 5 week study on Thursday, January 30 at 10am.

The Carlsbad (North County) Bible Study will be starting this Monday, January 13 at 7pm.

These studies are designed to bring encouragement and comfort for you as we come together in love and unity.

For more information, please call 800.992.0369 or sign up through

God is Moving. Are you going with Him?

Today is the day you can change direction and begin a new journey to your own personal victory. Because of the finished work of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, today is the day you can change your life for the better.

One of the exciting things about having a relationship with Christ is that we may journey with Him, which makes life an adventure. The adventure is one of change and focus and being able to soar above the circumstances by keeping our eyes on the eternal.

This morning, my reading was in Ezekiel 1. In this opening chapter, Ezekiel is describing the “invisible” world. He sees a heavenly vision that involves whirlwinds, raging fires, rainbows and odd-looking, living creatures. In chapter 1:6-11, Ezekiel attempts to sketch a visual for us:

Each one had four faces, and each one had four wings.Their legs were straight, and the soles of their feet were like the soles of calves’ feet. They sparkled like the color of burnished bronze. The hands of a man were under their wings on their four sides; and each of the four had faces and wings. Their wings touched one another. The creatures did not turn when they went, but each one went straightforward.

 As for the likeness of their faces, each had the face of a man; each of the four had the face of a lion on the right side, each of the four had the face of an ox on the left side, and each of the four had the face of an eagle. Thus were their faces. Their wings stretched upward; two wings of each one touched one another, and two covered their bodies.And each one went straightforward; they went wherever the spirit wanted to go, and they did not turn when they went.

We might try to imagine what these different creatures from Ezekiel’s description are doing or what they look like, but verses 9 and 12 give us significant insight.

V9:    The creatures did not turn when they went, but each one went  straightforward. 

 V12: And each one went straightforward; they went wherever the spirit  

wanted to go, and they did not turn when they went.

 God has given each of us many opportunities to move with Him. We all have the command to “go and make disciples”. The problems arise when circumstances bring doubt, discouragement, disappointment and the fear of defeat. Are we willing to go straightforward and not turn when the Spirit moves us to go?

The problem comes when our beliefs, understandings, fears and needs speak louder, as a result of our current situations, than the Spirit of the Lord’s voice.  As our lives change, these issues may not change.   When we experience something shocking, overwhelming, scary or challenging it can take some time to shift our focus.  It is in this moment of needing to shift that we often sit still.  Sitting still is not a problem. It is what we do in the times of stillness that can become problematic.  Fear, dread, panic, exaggeration, overreaction, depression, insecurity and uncertainty are just some of the emotions that can overpower good judgment and hinder our faith.

Good judgment becomes necessary to shift from the fear to faith. It is in this moment that we need to lift our eyes to see the eternal.

You are capable of determining what you believe, what you understand, what you are afraid of and what you need.  And you are certainly capable of doing that with careful consideration through the Scriptures, prayer and wise counsel.

You can go forward by the leading of the Spirit and choose to not turn your head to follow the distractions or false fears.

We speak from experience as Bobbye and I have been in ministry for over 10 years, and have experienced the vast range of situations, circumstances and emotions. It is never easy and the battles continue but we must move forward. We’ve been asked to host women’s conferences throughout the United States in 2014. Partnering with Salem Broadcasting, we will be holding evangelistic crusades in 19 cities, ranging from New York City to Houston to San Francisco. Have we been distracted, discouraged and downright depressed at times? Yes. However, we believe that God has called us to go straightforward and bring a message of hope, encouragement and faith to women, all over the world.

Through radio, television, webcasting, Internet and conferences, the message of the gospel will go to every nation and generation in the name of Jesus Christ. The task is big but the opportunity is now. We are asking for your prayer support and your financial support. Support from partners like you is making a difference and we thank you for your support throughout the years as well as now.

We ask that you prayerfully consider a donation or offering to Daily Disciples Ministries. We need your support to support others and to continue the mission of the ministry: to evangelize and to disciple, to encourage and empower, to teach and to train. It takes tremendous resources, finances, technology and ongoing support, but to God be the glory for great things He has done, through His people.

God uses the body of Christ to accomplish His purposes.

Every person who gives any amount will receive a copy of our latest book, “Check Your Motives”. How can we pray for you? Please let us know how Daily Disciples can serve you. And, please let us know if you would like to serve alongside us.
$25 Monthly Donation


Spiritual Warfare Bible Sudy “LIVE”

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Let me know if you have any questions at 800-992-0369

And It Was Very Good…

3_Book_package_mediumIt is January 1, 2013 today. Deep within my spirit, I knew for the past few weeks that I would read Genesis 1 on this day. I found myself procrastinating because I take on that haughty attitude of asking myself, “Why do I have to read Genesis 1 again on January 1?” For the past 20+ years I have read Genesis 1 on January 1 and for a person who does not have traits of OCD, the thought of doing something ritualistically seems like a very good reason to NOT do it again. However, I knew I would read Genesis 1 because I also sensed the Lord prompting me to read it.

So the question became, “How can I read Genesis 1 in a different light or with a different twist?” There is a shelf in my bedroom which holds most of the Bibles I have read throughout the years.  Some of them are reading plan Bibles but all of them represent a different version, color, font size, commentary and thickness. A friend of mine asked to me during one of the Bible study classes if I change Bibles according to my outfit? The question caught me off guard but I thought it was a clever question considering how often I do try to match my belt with my shoes. If you have as many Bibles as belts, why not match them in a women’s Bible study group? No, this is not my intention in when teaching the Bible but I did appreciate her keen observation of my Bible preference for that week.

Any way, staring up at the Bibles on the shelf, I thought about my Joel Osteen devotional of the day. He actually wrote about Joyce and Dave Meyer and how they began their ministry. I have a purple Bible that is in the Amplified version from a Joyce Meyer conference. I pulled that one down and opened to Genesis 1.

WOW! God is so good… His mercy is new every morning and somehow, Genesis 1 becomes new every year. This is what I learned this time this year:

Genesis 1:4 “And God saw that the light was good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it.”

Genesis 1:31 “And God saw everything that He had made and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant). And He approved it completely.”

God creates light and approved it but by the time He is done creating it all of creation, He approved it completely. I immediately thought of God telling us that He is faithful to complete what He has started in  us, His new creation in Christ. We are workmen called to be approved and faithful servants but He is God promising us that the work He is doing in our lives will be “good” or suitable and pleasant for His purposes.

Time to stop fighting the struggles, doubts and the things that cause us to be double minded and to start trusting Him. Time to rest in His sovereignty and praise the work of His hands, which includes us! He is a loving God who we can depend upon. It’s time for our lives to start reflecting His peace and yield to transformation through His love.

I guess re-reading Genesis 1 is like reminding myself of the book Building Divine Intimacy, prayer journaling and reading daily devotionals.  Some things we have to be reminded of and some things we need to learn in a completely new light and some things are just best for us if we repeat the action over and over again.

As He said, “it was very good.”

Christians and Technology

God is amazing and all knowing. I have always prayed that we could learn how to use the resources available to promote the Gospel and God’s Word. Several years ago, we founded Daily Disciples Ministries and began writing Bible studies. We had no idea what God would lead us to do using technology. We had no idea how to use the Internet and at that time, social media had not been born yet. But God led us to build a website, way back in 2003; then, put the Bible studies that we were teaching on that website as an mp3 file. We videotaped our Spiritual Warfare study in 2006, which are still being sold to this day. I remember the comments from those who thought we were a bit crazy….at that time, these types of things were not that prevalent in Christian activities and not many people seemed to care.

The biggest comment we received during our early technology ideas involved our decision to start writing “daily devotions” to post on our new website. We were told that we would not be able to keep writing them…that we would eventually stop…that it would never last. Well, that was about 8 years ago and over 400 devotions ago. The daily devotions have several thousand subscribers as well as are posted on and are passed around the world daily. This past week, we took technology to the next step in our ministry and launched our first App. We thought it was appropriate that it be for our daily devotions. The Daily Disciples Devotions App is available on the iTunes store and App store, one of a few that are actually an App.

God has given all of us the power to learn and to grow. Pray and ask for Him to show you things and how to use these latest technologies. Our voice for Christ needs to be out there in every place and the online world is growing with the voice of the world. Let’s do everything we can as Christians to use technology to spread the message of the Good News. From Apps to online video teachings to anything you can imagine. With God all things are possible.

Our latest Bible study currently going is on the Book of Exodus. We are teaching in person but are videotaping the sessions for anyone to join us, anywhere in the world. Check it out and join us. Visit our new online store at Keep in touch and keep the faith!

FREE Online Webcast

We are hosting a free online webcast every Tuesday at 2pm pst.

Yes, that’s right. It is starting in 10 minutes. Please email us at if you would like the link. The topic is “The 7 Deadly Sins” and week 1 today is The Proud Look.

If you miss today, we will have a free link for you to watch at a later time according to your convenience. Just sign up through an email at or call Terri at 800-992-0369. Thanks and hope to see your name online!

Do The Christian Thing

My aunt is struggling with a comment that someone said to her, “Let’s make sure we do the Christian thing in this situation.” In frustration and confusion, she said to my mom, “What does that mean?” I do not know all the details of their situation but I have thought about this statement a lot.
Tell you the truth, there is no Christian thing. There is a spirit led thing but there is not a standard way of doing something Christian. The Lord asks us to be dependent on Him and to ask for guidance. The minute we think we know the right answer without asking Him, we are compromising as He said that our ways are not His ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts.
Of course, we make choices every day that we do not consult the Lord and we make choices based on belief system, however, when many people are involved and the emotional levels are high, we better make sure we ask the Lord before making a statement like “do the Christian thing.” Jesus had no pat answer and no Bible–written miracle was performed the same way twice. We cannot say that Jesus did the Christian thing. We can say that Jesus was completely Spirit led which led to unpredictable statements and actions.
We need to watch our words unless we really have heard from the Lord.

How often do you read the Bible?

Last week, I picked up the USA Today newspaper. On the bottom corner, there was a USA Today Snapshot that was entitled: How often we read the Bible? I was surprised by the results:

  • At least once a month         53%
  • Rarely                                      22%
  • Never                                        24%
  • Don’t know                              1%

These percentages imply that the majority of the people in the USA are looking for God through the Bible in some way.  Many of us claim that we had a God-moment or a God-inspired thought. God’s spoken word can even be misinterpreted by our own spin or by the spin of another’s interpretation. But when life circumstances challenge those moments, thoughts or other’s comments, we need something more solid. We need something that speaks right to our heart directly. God’s written word is where 53% of us go to seek encouragement, answers and Truth. It is amazing to me that God’s living Word, Jesus, quoted God’s written Word. If Jesus quoted the Bible, how much more do we need to get familiar with the Bible today?

Bobbye and I wrote a book called “Building Divine Intimacy.” The primary objective was to teach other’s how to have a real relationship with the Lord. Some of the chapters deal with prayer, worship, how to apply the Bible to your daily life and learning to discern God’s voice over all the other voices and noises. We have had amazing testimonies like from Karen, “Thank you so much for writing this book. You finally put in words what my heart was seeking to know.”

If you are interested, please click here. We can send it to you in an e-book (or a pdf) for $5.00.

And if you need help, know that you can send in your prayer requests online through contact page.

Thank you and God bless you!

Busyness in His Business

The more I look around, the more I discover that people are struggling. When there is no margin in our lives, we have no ability to cope with broken cars, crying kids or sick pets. We are crying for more time, better organizational skills and support but if we miraculously had the ability to schedule spare time, how would we fill it?

I really believe that people like to be busy. Busyness looks like productivity and it makes us feel needed. But I also believe when we get to the point of accepting God as sovereign, we make time for Him to move in everything and to move us to serve Him anywhere.  Keeping Him in perspective gives us the perspective to be absolutely productive and useful in our margin-less lives. It is not about the crises anymore but about how the Lord can move through them to give each thing purpose.

Personally, I do not want extra time on my hands. When I find myself maxed out, I pray. When I find myself too tired to think, I pray. When I find myself too full from dinner to move, I pray. Prayer gives me the cushion I need to get a Sovereign perspective. When I need encouragement, I purposely schedule in Bible reading. Only the Word of God gives me the encouragement to keep going. (Romans 15:4)

The rationalizations, justifications and excuses keep us from growing, developing and making a difference. I want a blessed life. No, I want an abundantly blessed life. But I want that blessed life to be defined by the Lord.  Basically I want more of the Lord in every aspect of life, regardless of how He wants to use me and for whom.

Our Media Company is growing like crazy and I have people ask me all the time, how do you do it all? If I was not doing all of this, I would certainly be busy with something else but I have learned that I want to be where the Lord is blessing…He is choosing to bless this.  I have spent prior days being busy doing shopping, laundry, vacation planning and house decorating.  I noticed in that season of life, I spent my energy in the things that were a continued extension of me. I love my family so to be busy with their things kept me loving and serving the things I already love. I do not need to be spirit led or depend on the Lord to love those who love me back.  (And, realistically, I always make time to do these things because they naturally have my heart). However, adding a responsibility that helps to serve those outside my heart’s desire has allowed me to grow and love in a completely different way.

God is sovereign. He can do what He wants and He can bless whom He wants. Regardless of what others think I need to be doing or who they want me to be, I choose to follow the Lord. Allowing the Lord to have free reign in my overly scheduled day has given me a peace and a joy that has truly bless me. It really did come by reprioritizing the busyness.  “Busyness in His Business.” We can remain busy but are we really about His business or our own?